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 | There are a lot of nice things I can think of to say about orgasms. But being a good goal for sex is not one of them. It can be hard to believe but the people I know who are the most sexually creative and fulfilled are almost without exception the people who long ago stopped trying to make orgasm the centerpiece of their sexual agendas. This week it's all about having them or not. ~ Cory |
| Sex Question: Trans Guy, No Orgasms
I'm a 23 year old trans man and I've never had an orgasm. It's embarrassing for me to talk about because I feel pressure, as if knowing who I am means I also have all my sexual shit together. Every book I've ever read about masturbation or orgasm tells me that what I've got is female, so that doesn't help. And I'm not interested in a strap-on because it's fake. I just dealt in the past but now that I've started T the rush of intense libido without access to the relief of orgasm, is driving me crazy. Ideas????
| First Time Orgasm
There are so many expectations we have of adults and their sexuality. One of them is that if you're having sex, you're having orgasms. This is far from universally true (although if you thought otherwise you might want to skip ahead to the link below). Which leaves those of us who are adults and having sex but who haven't had an orgasm yet, without a lot of help on where to start. Here's one place.
| Faking Orgasms
One study from 2010 found that 25% of men and 50% of women report faking orgasm (or "pretending to have an orgasm", to use the language of the study) during intercourse, oral sex, or phone sex. If the idea of faking pleasure didn't give you pause before, consider the fact that you BOTH might be faking it.
| Building Better Orgasms
There may be as many metaphors for orgasms as there are experiences of orgasm. Is an orgasm something you build? It is something you grow? Is it something you facilitate, or create, or fight for? This 10 step guide to expanding your orgasm potential offers some guidance and plenty of room for you to find your own literal and metaphoric orgasmic experience.
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